ok what i am gonna tell is about someone, kwn ku seuniversity, same major..
her name is Sibah.. and i know her from UG (utama Grand):where i work a long time ago before starting uni life.
My first impression ofcourse clearly from her face that she is shy and quiet. makin lama, aku rasa lemas. mcm pepatah diam diam ubi berisi tapi bukan tentang ilmu, lebih kepada sifat yang kurang baik.. Disebabkan ea atu pemalu, ea da mslh everytime it comes to presentation. she is too scared! ofcourse im scared too, but heyy people will get tired kan if diri ani sebagai juru cakapnya setiap kali bercakap kepada lecturer..
ok im gonna start, kebaikkannya.. only one.. ea jenis bukan pengumpat.. alim lah juga..
Then keburukkannya.. banyak.. ofcourse aku pun tak perfect tapi apa yg ku gtau ni bnr2 sakit hatiku.. Pertama, time kami mula declare major kami.. ofcourse semua module kami sama so stick together lah.. mula2 happy lah jua sal saya berpisah dgn 3 lagi gang yg tak ku brapa suka.. apa yang ku realise pasal sibah ini, dia pentingkan diri sendiri. terjadi time module mib.. saya pernah tlg dia sal dia tak berdengan mencari resources tuk mib.. so, satu hari itu, pernah aku minta tlg, aku dgr dia mengeluh diblakang aku mcm tak ikhlas wlupun hanya sekajap saja.. mula lah aku sakit hati. time aku presentation, dia tak dtg awal untuk menolong aku. dia hanya mahu berdengan saja time masa ea lonely.
kedua, aku ani kenal ea bth sudah.. slalu sama2 di ubd.. tapi ea nda pernah bukakn hatinya arahku.. terluan berahsia. aku mau ea OPEN. aku inda tau tmpt tgl, nda ku tau music apa yg ea dgr, nda ku tau feelingnya. kalau aku ah~ aku bnyk bercerita sal diriku arahnya, tp tatap ea nda mau cerita sal dirinya so i GAve UP, rasa mcm talking to wall. its tiring to open yourself to someone but she doesnt even want to tell anything.
Ketiga, pandai tapi karit ilmu. bayangkan setiap kali ada assignment, sudah tah aku contribute a lot.. tidor lagi awal padahal assignment alum siap. aku tah sorg2 tu membuat assignment. mbgi matikah kalau inda tidor awal? cubatah ah, apa jua ganya sehari ganya berjaga membuat assignment atu, ani aku plg sorg terkapai2 membuat. aku jua yg edit,aku jua yg cek. sudahnya individual work, tinggi tah tu markahnya. i was like WT* this girl, time bergroup kenapa low grade atu? ofcourse ku jeles.. mun pandai atu cuatah bg idea kh apa. ani aku ganya, lalah jua otak ku tu mun aku saja bg idea. mcm disimpannya bah kepandaiannya atu, time individual barutah ea berusaha. i dnt want that type of friend.
keempat, this happen last sem. entah mengapa makin competitive ea atu.. i dnt mind kalau kan bersaing dgn aku.. tapi tapuk2 eh perasaan ah. cua bayangkan time exam tu this incident happen. ea duduk sebelahku, then time kwnku didapannya minta extra paper diliatnya ni aku dgn mua terkajutnya. i was like "what was that for?".. time atu aku relek2 menjwp paper ku.. i clearly show "i dnt care face" if people ask for extra paper coz i know that im confidence in myself.. lpas atu gagas tah ea membuat ans.. then second time, this time she is the one yg ask more paper.. and she look at me again but with diff expression. more into pandangan sinis, bangga, menjeling ada jua.. that time my blood start to boiling ahahah i wanna slap her. i wanna kick her. im cursing inside my brain.. and again i was like "WT* wrong with her? if u want more extra paper i dnt care! all i want is to have a peace writing my answer..so leave me alone!" after that incident, she really2 is the one who making me even more stress and mcm goyah my calmness.. everytime i see her face, i just hate her to the deep of my heart. i swear for this sem i dnt want to hang pout with her anymore.
kelima, sudah tah pendiam ah.. indakan time bertext pun inda timbul2. bnr menguji kesabaran anak ani. time ani berlaku situation where i create a whtsapp group, and ea langsung nada text. i was like "wt* with this girl".. seriuosly, chnge your attitude. coz u make me tired to the point i cant smile seeing ur face. even time discussion di facebook pun ea pyh2an text. luan jua..
keenam, about assignment. rupanya ea ani jenisnya honest kalau kena bagi kraja banyak. baru sekali bagi banyak keraja "banyak jua kraja ku buat ani?". and i really2 want to hit her face and shout "wtf wrong with you? selama ani aku banyak contribute buat assignment, aku edit the final one, aku bagi idea apa yang patut dibuat, kamu tau menghilang malam2 tidor nyaman2 mcm membagi mati sja inda tidor awal tinggalkan aku terkapai2 membuat sampai tengah malam, bila ditanya kajap menghilang----> AND I DID ALL OF THIS FOR ALL SEM, DO YOU KNOW MY FEELING ABOUT IT? DID U SAID THANK U FOR MY EFFORT? DID U SAY SORRY FOR NOT CONTRIBUTE? DID U THINK ABOUT MY HARDSHIP? DO U THINK IM HAPPY?" AND I DONT COMPLAIN ABOUT MY EFFORT COZ I WANNA BETTER GRADE. U STUPID SELFISH GIRL, KARIT ILMU, JAHAT, JGN LUAN DIASUH BH UTAK ATU!"
oh i forgot, before the above exam.. i did ask her about the ans to past year paper..she said that ea balum membuat so oklh, inda jua ku maksa.. yatah dua hari lapas atu, ada ni kami berjanji berjumpa with the others..so tau2 drg discuss di whatsapp without telling me.. ignore my question di facebook.. yatah si pendiam ani glance arah ku..now i understand her attitude evil b*tch.. why? she know aku banar2 need help n bertanya sebelum atu, tapi inda ea membagi tau yang aku need help? i mean obviously, she didnt tell the other and doesnt care kalau aku inda ada dlm group discussion. start atu tah aku mengamuk bravis, nampak berubah muaku..i dont marah arah yg lain sal drg nda melayan soalanku, berbincang di whatsapp, tapi the fact that pendiam atu tau sal aku and faham(the way ea glance arahku) yang aku ada bertanya ea, and ea nda tlg copy and pastekn balik yang drg berbincang atu..so that time i know she was evil b*tch.
thats it for today.. lega rasanya ahahah ^_^
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